Questions to Ask Before Filing for Divorce
Filing a divorce can be an easy process, but has a big effect on a lot of people. And although it is an easy procedure, it is not an easy issue to decide upon. There are a lot of things to consider before deciding on this. If you want to file a divorce to dissolve your marriage, consider asking yourself the following questions first:
1. Do I still love him/her?
A lot of people claiming they want a divorce still have feelings for their partner, and these feelings usually are still strong. However, because of the continuous struggle about many things in the relationship, their intimacy and closeness are affected. If you are one of these people, you should first try to work on your relationship first before you decide on filing a divorce or else the negative feeling brought about by the divorce may devour you and you may find yourself feeling worse than before you had it filed.
2. Were we married?
Being married doesn’t mean you underwent a ceremony and had put a ring on each other’s finger. It also involves both partners creating a bond that includes a “we” or an “us”. Most people contemplating on divorce had a marriage that only consisted of two people meeting their needs. They may have formed a family together with their children but may never have participated in activities that required the unity of the entire family. They may have asked “Is this good for me?” rather than “Is this fun for us?”.
3. Am I truly decided? Or Am I just threatening?
Divorce is usually threatened by couples especially when there are heated arguments:
• That came from frustration and anger
• That come when you don’t agree with each other regarding real changes
• When one partner tries to be dominant and tries to control the other. Or tries to get the other to see things his way.
• When you feel that the marriage is breaking apart.
Before you make up your mind about divorce, you should first be 100% sure that this is what you want.
4. Am I sincere in deciding about it?
Being ready about divorce means you are emotionally prepared to make an unemotional and clear decision which can support you as time goes. Being divorced means that you are capable of letting go of all emotional attachments to your partner, his/her loved ones as well as those hostile ones.
5. Can I handle the consequences?
When you are officially divorced, it doesn’t end there. There are consequences that you should cope with. Grief is almost always present because the dream of a “happy family” has died. There are disappointments, failures, loneliness, inadequacy, rejection, and other painful feelings you have to deal with, and there are times when all of these feelings come to you at the same time. You have to be sure that you can take all of these head on.
The above questions are just a few of many things you should ask yourself before being finally decided on filing for a divorce. It is not easy to deal with, and it sure is not a good feeling. You should keep in mind that once you sign the divorce papers, there is no turning back.